Intentionally Divorced
If you’re like me – Have you ever wondered how people you know have gone through a messy (or not messy) divorce and come out intact and in better shape than they were before they started the process?
I am here to tell you it is entirely possible to do so.
While the process itself can be quite painful for some leaving lasting scars; you can actually heal, salvage yourself and your relationships if done with grace and humility.
Ok- I know what you’re thinking right now. You’re thinking, ‘ I’m not the one with the problem. If only the other side could be humble, fair, reasonable then everything would be just fine.’
Sure. Of course.
Guess what? It IS fine. It is fine already.
But not because of ANYTHING the other player in this game has done. It is fine because you choose for it to be so.
Because we are only given about 24 hours in advance from God to see the future- sometimes even less so- you cannot possibly know all that lies ahead. Right? And there are regular days where the ability to even see 24 minutes ahead is a huge challenge.
BE BLUNT.
I would say be honest, but too many people are not able to be truthful when it comes to their own shortcomings or asking for what they want. Instead, I advise you to forgo honest and just be blunt.
Say exactly what you mean. Don’t soften any blows. It only hurts more in the end. Trust me. A straight to the chase approach will be better in the end for everyone.
‘If you say, hey, I’m really not happy right now.’ It implies that now is bad, but there is still hope for later. Way too much can be read into the above statement. Especially if the divorce is your idea and the other person is hanging onto a shred of hope that things might be worked out.
There is really only one scripted way to tell your partner/lover/spouse that the relationship needs to end. You MUST say, ‘I want a divorce.’ There are no blurred lines in that simple sentence. It implies real time. It states very simplistically what you want. And it doesn’t beat around any bushes.
This life is way to short to hem and haw or worse- expect someone to read your damn mind.
Just rip the band-aid off and let everyone move on in peace.
Bluntly yours,
Nadine Bodine
Your Very BEST friend in the whole wide world 🌎
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